Love Languages and your Needs – Dandelion Training & Development

We explored love languages previously (catch up here). The concept, of Love Languages were developed by Gary Chapman (PHD) in his book ‘The 5 Love Languages’ and are often referred to. Their purpose was to identify the different ways that people express and receive love, to develop a deeper recognition of how this influences our connections.

The five love languages include:

Acts of Service – You are always identifying ways to do things for others or to help them or you deeply appreciate when others do things for you

Gifts – You show others that you love them, care for them and are thinking about them through offering gifts. You enjoy receiving gifts from others and it brings you great joy

Physical Touch – You like physical touch and intimacy, expressing your love and care for others in this way and you love when others are tactile with you, appreciating physical connection

Words of Affirmation – You are inclined towards giving words of affirmation through verbal or written words and enjoy and feel deeply cared for when others are emotionally vulnerable with you

Quality Time – You make plans and find ideas of things to do with others, relishing in uninterrupted time together and you love it when others make plans for you, truly appreciating the quality time together

How does it affect your needs?

An aspect of love languages which are less often referred to, is how your love language also can show you how you may react when you are experiencing stress or worry from personal challenges:

Those who prioritise QUALITY TIME as a love language, can find that in periods of stress or challenge that they are inclined to isolate themselves, withdrawing from others and therefore, reducing the interaction that they need to feel valued.

For those who need ACTS OF SERVICE as a love language, they may find that when they struggle they stop asking for help instead seeking to manage alone, or feeling unable to ask others to support them.

In those who value PHYSICAL TOUCH as a love language, when stressed or overwhelmed, the person may find that they avoid other people and pull back from the physical support and care that they most need.

For individuals who most need WORDS OF AFFIRMATION to feel that they are loved and cared for, in stress and challenge can find that they go silent, not interacting or receiving the verbal or written support that they so deeply desire.

Whilst for those who most value GIFT GIVING as a love language, when they are stressed can find themselves impulsively spending to try and fill the space that the stress is creating.

Our love languages are a valuable tool to support us to understand ourselves, and by reversing them we can identify the negative loops we may experience when we stressed and seek to be more aware of them so that we can challenge our own thinking and meet our own needs.

Want to learn more?

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Further help

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