What’s the emotional literacy gap?

Since the 2020 pandemic, there has been an increasing gap in the emotional literacy of children. One of my greatest observations from the last three years in my therapy and coaching work, is that whilst children are catching up academically:

• Behaviour issues are increasing
• Dysregulation is happening more frequently
• Expressing feelings is less comfortable
• There are a lot of extremes – e.g. dissociation versus extreme anxiety/anger/worries
• Children are expressing having less friends
• Tolerance levels have reduced

A study of child development post pandemic, commissioned by the Education Endowment Foundation (EEF) and conducted by a team from the University of York, the National Institute of Economic and Social Research (NIESR) and the Education Policy Institute (EPI), recently reviewed the impact. Data was based on almost 100 schools and more than 3,000 children.

The study found that the proportion of children in their sample reaching the expected levels in all areas – communication and language, physical development, literacy, maths, and personal, social and emotional development – was 59% in 2021, compared to 72% for the 2019 cohort. This difference is equivalent to, on average, three more children in every classroom not reaching the expected levels by the end of the school year

So, what do we do?

Self-regulation means that as a child (and later as an adult) we can:

• Recognise our emotions
• Respond to them and calm ourselves
• To resist highly emotional overwhelming responses to triggers
• To be able to control emotions or redirect them to positive actions
• To be able to adjust to changes in situations
• To be able to manage unpredictability
• It develops our resilience
• It increases confidence
• It increases self-esteem
• It helps us focus on goals and targets
• It helps us manage failure constructively

When we are dysregulated, our ability to be able to manage and respond to the internal storm within us, means that we might:

• Big emotional reactions to situations
• A build-up of distress leading to outburst or collapse
• Disruptive behaviours when unpredictable situations or transitions occur
• Emotional meltdowns
• Anxiety
• Arguments or aggressive behaviours
• Extreme perfectionism
• Self-harming behaviours

What might it look like?

For children who struggle with their emotional literacy, you may find:

• They struggle to tell you HOW they feel
• They may tell you ‘I don’t know’
• They may use the same words consistently to describe their feelings, such as ‘sad’
• They may become overwhelmed quickly, but be unsure why
• They may not know the names of feelings
• They may not know what the feeling feels like
• They may not know what the sensation is telling them
• They may find it challenging to move out of feelings, becoming ‘stuck’

Children may:

• Get frustrated, angry or irritable quickly
• Enter fight-flight-freeze-fawn mode frequently
• Be hyper attuned to risk, threat or problems
• Try to over control the room / home / class to manage their anxiety
• Struggle with changes or adaptations
• Use physical behaviour to demonstrate their frustration
• Dysregulate into meltdowns quickly
• Comment that all feedback is criticism or that everyone hates them
• Be exhausted for long periods afterwards

What else contributes to it?

As well as our emotional literacy skills, there are some factors which affect our ability to regulate our own emotions, these are areas, that as adults, we need to ensure that we are supporting. If children are dysregulated, checking these areas off can give us a quick review of contributing factors:

• Nutrition
• Hydration
• Sleep quality and quantity
• Physical Activity and exercise
• Screentime
• Environment (noise, lighting, temperature, smells, clutter)

What can we do?

Emotional regulation requires adults to guide and coach children to be able to take a moment to

• Identify the sensation
• Recognise the feeling
• Think it through
• Make a plan
• Execute the plan (with or without help)

Some simple ways to start this include:

1. Managing our own stress– Managing our own stress allows us to avoid escalating with children and to instead focus on being their lighthouse in the storm. Therefore, we can co-regulate. Taking time to meet your own needs is vital to being able to recognise children’s emotional needs and to support children to manage their own. Read more here.
2. It’s not about us – If we do see children struggling, stepping out and remembering that they are struggling and it’s not about us. Whilst at times this can be hard, staying present and reminding them that they are loved and we are there to help calms the amygdala.
3. Expanding emotional vocabulary– Supporting children to develop their emotional vocabulary, through role play, conversations, stories and games, supports children to be able to respond to their needs. See the links below for resources.
4. Share emotional literacy stories– Sharing stories where characters learn to recognise and respond to their own emotions can support children to be able to develop their own emotional literacy.
5. Model emotional literacy – Children watch everything – ever noticed how they can recite the lines of their favourite shows/songs so easily? When we model effective emotional literacy we can support children to connect their own feelings ‘I am going to have a bath tonight as today has been overwhelming, I had so much to do’, helps children much more than ‘I don’t have energy for this today’. When we model identifying our own emotions and then how to support them, we normalise taking time to help ourselves. This can feel strange at first, but can help all of us to develop greater self-awareness.
6. Teach regulation strategies – Teaching children regulation activities builds their toolbox. In addition, adding self-regulation activities to the day in times when you recognise children can struggle, such as after school supports them to feel able to respond more positively. Read more here

Emotional literacy is a life long activity, so there is no race. Work at the child’s pace and focus on consistency over speed.

 

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Further help 

For more articles about mental health visit – ARTICLES 

To learn more about child and adolescent mental health visit – COURSES 

For resources to support child and adolescent mental health visit –RESOURCES